Imagine watching someone you love,
so very deeply,
someone that completes your every thought
become unraveled right in front of you
and you’re watching it in slow motion
you’re watching the pain on their face,
you’re watching the life drain from their eyes,
you want to reach our to help them,
but you’re stuck,
frozen,
just watching,
watching as the moments tick by,
Just imagine for a moment with me,
just how that would feel,
unable to stop it,
unable to prevent it,
unable to rush to their aid,

and now imagine that you’re looking in the mirror.
Imagine that person is you.

That’s how I felt that day.
That’s how I felt that awful December day,
as I picked up my glass of vodka
and shoveled handful after handful of pills into my mouth,
washing it down with the delicious clear ice cold vodka,

I was watching myself unravel,
cold, detached,
and there was nothing I could do about it.
Nothing at all
but watch.

Now imagine that you’re looking in the mirror.
Imagine that person is you.
As I was watching myself unravel,
cold, detached,
there was nothing I could do about it.

Nothing at all but watch.