Those silent voices, when you’re alone.
That’s when they scream the loudest.
Whether it’s just amplifying your inner most fear.
That no one will ever love you the way that you believe in love.
The fear that you can’t get too close to anyone.
The fear of getting hurt again.
The fear of the next person who will use your heart as target practice.
The moment when you start to rebuild the walls you worked so hard to remove.
The constant ruminating as to why, this time, you had to be the one.
The one who not only did everything you could make me love you.
The one who did everything you could to make me hate you.
The one who I cannot seem to hold onto yet, I cannot seem to let go.
Every day I think about you.
Every day I think about those good times.
Every day I remember the laughs.
Every day I remember looking into your eyes.
Then, things all changed.
I asked you to take it easy on me.
I asked you to believe in me.
I asked you to trust me.
I asked you to hold my hand.
You answered by letting me go.
Because my heart was tender.
Because we broke up hundreds of times.
Because I was having a really rough week.
Because I needed someone to support me while my knees were weak.
Because I needed someone to hold my hand when I was scared.
Because I needed someone to hold me while the tears were cascading to the floor.
Because I needed someone in my life to say, “I’ve got your back.”
So many days you drove me to my highest highs.
So many days you drove me to my lowest lows.
So many days you lit up my life,
So many days you burned me to the ground.
I thought we could endure.
I thought we would endure.
I thought we would be forever.
I thought we were clever.
I never thought we would end in a bonfire.
I never thought we would end in ashes.
I never thought we would take that nosedive.
I never thought the end would arrive.
I have already said I’m sorry.
I hoped you could have said the same.
This moment could have been ours.
Thank you for what could have been.
Thank you for being mine.
Thank you for a moment in time.
Thank you for reminding me what it was like to live.
Now I feel like I’m dying inside.
Writing From This Heart 