“Goodbye my love,” I said.
Goodbye, my friends.
Goodbye, my world.
Goodbye, my love.
I held out for as long as I could.
I begged, and pleaded for it to stop.
I screamed into the night.
I did my best to try to make it right.
I tore the days into shreds.
I tried my very best to decipher your codes.
I almost died more times than you know.
You watched my every move for years.
You stole my determination.
My safety, my security.
You attacked my love, my life.
Now, you’ve stolen my hope for a happy ending.
You took away my faith and my belief in you.
I received your gifts.
You gave me anxiety.
mental health issues.
and fueled the incessant need for self-medication.
I wanted you to be in my life for its remainder.
I wanted to see us all celebrate together.
You have shattered my illusions.
You have poisoned my reality.
My nightmares are now the darkness.
These storms have enveloped my soul.
At the core was my heart.
On my sleeves, love for you all.
On my lips, an eternity of hope.
All that remains is the shell of a man.
Who has been given nothing in life.
A man who worked his ass off to be strong.
To be faithful.
To be devoted to the service of others.
Who every day hates himself for not being able to take on everything.
A man who wanted nothing more than make this world a little better for us all each and every day.
A man who is happiest when his friends and family have little to worry about.
A man whose pride grew with the ways he could make magic happen for others.
That man is no longer here.
This man is not strong enough to continue this game.
This man is sad for his relationships as he watches the lifeboats burn.
This man is sad for love as this distance grows.
I am sorry I am not smart enough to make the grade.
I am sorry I couldn’t pass this test.
In the end I only wanted one thing.
In the end I only wanted to see love grow.
In the end I only wanted to believe in all that I know.
I am sorry you had to let me go.
I think it is time that I have to let go now too.
You’ve had your fun.
I am at the end of my rope.
Go ahead and give it the tug.
Goodbye my love.
Goodbye my heart.
Goodbye my soul.
Goodbye my mate.
Goodbye my future.
Goodbye my history.
So, this is what it is like to truly be numb.
Comfortably so.
Writing From This Heart 