A New Chapter is what I wanted.
A new beginning is what I needed.
Love was the last thing on my mind.
This is not what I expected to find.
My heart stuck in overdrive.
Wondering if I should be thankful to be alive?
Wondering how I will ever survive?
I want you in my life.
My heart aches to be without you.
Every time I want to break free.
All the good memories come rushing in to disagree.

I want to hold on,
I wanted to wait and see,
I just do not know how to let it be.

There was a summer of loving.
Or was it a summer of nothing?
There was a fall of hoping.
And there was hoping to fall.
when I reach for my phone,
it is you, that I am hoping that will call.

That if I could hear you.
That if I could see you.
My shoulders, once slumped,
would rise and stand tall.

To see the love, I once saw in your eyes,
that would be the ultimate prize.
Another winter, I spend alone.
Another winter, I spent without a home.

Hearing those voices,
“You’re not good enough” onward they drone.
It is not that I want to be free.

It is that I wanted,

Us, to be: We.

Once I return from this rock I’ve crawled under.
Someday I may replace this grimace,
with a look of wonder.

Can I remain in this place all the same?
With its repetitive notes,
and it’s bridges all aflame.

What I wanted was love that was true and real,
Instead, you left me broken,
and I stopped wanting,
and I stopped knowing,
how or what to feel.

If all that we are is what we are to become,
then in this exercise of life,
my destiny is to be numb.