It will get better, they say.

It will get easier, they say.

It will stop hurting, they say.

It is a process, they say.

---

Time is a process, I said.

Time stops the hurting, I said.

Time does not make it easier, I said.

Time does not make life better, I said.

---

Yes,
time marches on,
but without you here.

Yes, time marches on. Now, without me, too.

I stare at the door, hoping you’ll knock.

I pick up the phone, start to dial your number, only to stop.

The tears still flow over your memory, the smile on your face, every day.

I hear your laughter in my ears.

The joy and memories of a time now passed.

You may have moved on.

Still, I do not know how, somehow, I cannot.

My heart still aches.

My mind still breaks.

I guess this is all it takes.

I was always afraid of being alone, you all showed me what it was like to feel truly alone.

It was 100000 times worse than my darkest fears.