Maybe you’re right,
as these days pass through,
into another cold rainy night.

It’s not that I am angry,
or that I’ve lost my sight,
what I can see and what is unseen,
is that none of us seem to be living our dreams.

When those who came to help me,
what those kind, caring, and helpful souls did not see,
each and every single one of them,
in my eyes, sought to invalidate me.

My feelings are just as important,
to me as it seems yours are to you.
when my mistakes were made,
I did my best to repair the havoc I laid.

Yet, the damage done to me remains,
try as I might to ignore it exists,
as I’ve crossed off my lists.

Those are the moments,
whether they only exist in my head,
or whether they’re tied to our chest in a backpack of lead.
Even as I’ve pulled my head back out of the water,
Those moments are the ones I struggle to release.

Those moments of me being deceived.
The collateral damage as one put so plainly,
was my heart, my psyche, and my future.
I did my best, absent the voices in my head,
to make sense of it all, to not see red.

For no one else, their mistakes would they claim.
Even as Heaven and Earth came down on me,
I was left here to claim the blame.
Standing alone, safety in silence.
As it seems, the end result is the same.

What we dare not mention,
is with the best of intentions,
we destroyed by fiat and by convention,
what was not the danger but apprehension,
rather than chaos ruling we chose dissention,
living by necessity and time suspension,
but to keep the feelings of good intentions,
this war of attrition we dare not mention.