I do everything right.
I reach for help when I need it.
The decisions I make, harshly judged, based on information that is manipulated.

I admitted my mistakes.
I asked for forgiveness.
There is no win, nor a loss.

Those who shoved me down this path, did so without empathy, and wondered why I could not see, what this lack of respect did to me.

A game I tried to understand, to reconcile, in abject horror all the while.
Why is it I cannot make you see, how your demonization has taken its toll on me.

No shame, no pain, nothing remains, nothing left to lose, no one – seemingly – left to gain.

What you do not see, is that my life is greater, than the ways you broke my heart.

So, I now see you, Emperor, and your disregard.
How, I now see you, Lover, you’ve played your last card.
I’ve done what is good,
I’ve done what is hard.

Over time, your abusing, controlling, and disrespectful condescension, is the attention that caused this caring heart to break.

When I sought help, you stood in my way.
When I needed a friend, you took them away.

I wanted very much to be ok.
When they wanted to be there for me. You showed them the door.
It is difficult, right now, for me to see any of us who might survive this.
From the beginning, have I again been proven right?

If it was love. Never would it have been left up to chance.
No salvation, no savior, no deity shall delight.
No prophecy either, no death tonight.

It does me no joy seeing you hurt like you do. It does me no joy.

I am a son who loved his father.
I am a son who loved his mother.
I am a man who respected his family.
And I am a man who saw good within you.

What more there is to a life whwn approached like that, I will never know.
I am as tall as I will be, never more shall I grow.

You can have this life at the hands of the serpent. The screams, the cheers, and all its torment.

I am who I am, someone steadfast, strong, and true. Creative and witty, snarky, and special.

I don’t need you to place your values upon me, I know my own.

What I would give, to have finally just been shown, what the truth and the sum total could have been.

A life could have begun again.